Respect

I feel so disrespected right now. Someone had suggested helping us get a house a few times over the last year or so.  Recently they brought it up again and I considered the idea – minus the part where right now we are working toward paying our debts and raising our credit scores.  Financially, buying a house,  or moving really aren’t wise choices right now.

Thanks to Learn Vest, I was able to speak to a financial planner who seconded to at least wait, work on getting caught up,  debt down, and a savings for moving and emergency fund set up and growing.

Giving all those reasons to the ones offering the help I felt, and still feel, confident that it was the best decision we could make at this time about our budget and finances. And my dear husband (dh) agrees.

Well, turns out it wasn’t going to be dropped so easily. The said person later sent a pic and description of the same house that was sent to me to my DH and decided to call about it. Never in my life have I felt so disrespected. A marriage is supposed to be a united front – one I feel my DH and I have created in our relationship.  So maybe I’m over reacting, but I feel as though my marriage is being attacked, my authority over our and my finances is being given no merit, and our actual financial state is being given no consideration.

I couldn’t even buy gifts for Christmas this year. Many wonderful people thought of us and helped make this year so wonderful and I appreciate their acts if kindness. The smiles on my kids faces were something I’ll never forget. What though, would make anyone think after having to consider not having a Christmas in our home that buying a house is wise?

My point here, is why would we add to our debt instead of forming a strong financial future for our kids? What good reason is there to risk a roof over our heads because someone thinks we need more space. (And maybe we do – but space doesn’t pay the bills) When is it really a good choice to add to upwards of $39,000 in debt (includes cars and student loans etc) when we could be working on getting it paid off, a savings set up, and our credit scores up? I just can’t fathom.

I feel so disrespected as a person, mom, wife by these people.  My husband has been so great about it – a voice of reason so to speak since I really just want to say what they can do with their fiscally irresponsible suggestions that are comparable to all of Obama’s stupid mistakes.

I am so glad we were/are on the same page, the United front I mentioned above. We would love to own a house, but not at the expense of our children, whom will be left with our poor decisions if we don’t make the right choices now.

I appreciate the thought and offer to help. Not so much the disrespect and trying to divide the front we have and go behind us working at our resolve to do the right thing.

I’d love to get some feed back. Has this ever happened to you? If so – how did you handle it and what did you (or didn’t you) say? Leave a comment below – tell me your thoughts.

God bless,
Sarah

 

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Mobile Blogging

Who knew that with the tap of your finger you could share through blog wherever you are…. It’s been another long morning.  All in the house are now sick and it reaks havoc on E.W.s processing abilities. All things big and small make him upset.
Today I’m focusing on how others are to him about it instead of trying to fix the problem so to speak. I was finally able to explain to Els that although she may want to play with a certain toy or wants E.W. to play with her sometimes he doesn’t want that or he’s super sensitive about things because he sees them differently.
Her day with him has been so much better than I’ve seen ever. She understood enough to ask if it was like someone else we know that deals with some of the same things and has tried so hard to be kind about things today with her little brother. It’s one of those moments where I can sit back and be proud of the little girl she is becoming.
I am super excited that I can now blog/record these things as I think of them or as they happen so I don’t forget later. I have a terrible memory – I don’t think it’s pregnancy brain as much as it is Mommy brain. I’m not pregnant, and I have yet to get my brain “back”. (Or is it my mind I’ve lost?? Haha)
If you’ve ever considered blogging, I recommend WordPress. It has all the features you could ask for, yet is simple and easy to use. I was reserved going in, but I think it’s an easy and useful way to record feelings and things going on, keep others up to date, and let others know what products you like or sites you give five stars.
Sometimes what I say doesn’t hold a lot of organization to it, but the thought is just the same. I hope you enjoy reading my blog – and if you do, feel free to share it!

God bless,

Sarah

 

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Bad Days

The last few days have been difficult in our house. Not only are the two adults in the house sick, but E.W. has had an extremely hard time of it lately. As I sit here now, as frustrated as I’ve been over the last few days, I am simply sad for him. My heart is breaking that he doesn’t know how to say he doesn’t like something or to ask for space. It saddens me he doesn’t want to play with his siblings and that it’s easier for him to lay on the floor and kick/scream than to say what’s wrong. I long for the day he can say what he wants, or doesn’t want, and when the little things aren’t life or death to him. (though, right now I don’t know if that will ever be the case)

Els is taking advantage of how he feels. Pushing the limits with him until he goes nuts screaming and hitting the floor/kicking at anyone who walks close. I know she doesn’t understand what she’s really doing to him, but she does know what she’s doing. It’s a tough situation to be in. On one level what she is doing is not nice and in fact is quite mean, and on another level E.W. is just over reacting. But to him, his anger is rational. As rational as my one year old’s fits. In some ways, they are on the same level. I’m at such a loss on how to explain to Els why what she’s doing isn’t okay and why he’s responding so strongly. The words just won’t form. At least not in a way my five year old will understand.

I-man doesn’t want to be left out-so he has been competing with E.W.’s screams and fits. He’s so little, he has no idea that what he’s doing is not really appropriate. And it’s hard to get upset. My aggravation lies in a space too small, two loud screamers, and a daughter who thinks she’s the mom and tries to handle things on her own.

I struggle to know that how I handle each issue is right. I often wonder if God would be proud of the way I’ve approached each thing as it has come my way. I’m so easily agitated, so often I snap or act short tempered. I’m on edge and over tired. I can’t sleep at night-on nights E.W. doesn’t end up in my room and the baby sleeps through, I lay awake wondering if there will ever be a light at the end of the tunnel. I’m sure there must be. Surely a God as gracious as mine can heal my son, or at least lead us to those who can help him to express his feelings and do things I have yet to see him do. The day he says “I love you, Mom.” I know I’m going to cry uncontrollably.

I love my kids, I love them unconditionally. And even in these bad days it is reiterated in my mind. I have never loved any so deeply as these three precious beings. I don’t place all my dependence on their presence, but without even one of them in my life, I know things would never be the same. I am so blessed to have such empathetic and sweet babies. They all feel others’ pain like it’s their own. Their hearts are so big. Snuggling them and reading to them is the highlight of my days. But on days like these, it can be hard to see the big picture. I see my daughter rebelling, my youngest acting out for attention, and my middle son screaming at every moved toy or bumped crayon.

I know I’m not alone-sometimes its hard to believe. Everything we deal with is so personal-yet at least thousands others deal with the same obstacles and worse each day. I have it “easy” in comparison, yet it feels so heavy a burden to bear at times. E.W. gets tested the 8th and 10th-we’ll get some more concrete answers. I’ve seen the symptoms before, so I have an idea-but to get the help he needs will be so invaluable. I am deeply praying it’s problems fixed with therapy-that he will lead a normal life someday. With this, you just never know. I worry constantly, and pray even more. I have faith things can and will be better-when I don’t know. But I am so thankful to have a God of peace. Just putting words on paper (or online lol) helps.

I will continue to share with you as the weeks go by-I know this is just the start of our journey. If you ever need to vent yourselves, know I’m just a click away (or text for some) and am always available to talk to/bounce ideas off of/or to listen. Must go for now, I-man is making a reappearance after an after supper nap…

God bless you all,

Sarah

 

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Tapbooty: Earn Free Cash & Gift Cards-Review!

I tried Tapbooty through Smiley360! Have fun, earn free cash & gift cards! #TapbootyMission Get 250 free coins: http://bit.ly/1esixii *Please remember the FTC requires you to mention that you received a free sample courtesy of Smiley360 when sharing.

via Tapbooty: Earn Free Cash & Gift Cards.

As promised-I am letting you know how I liked it. It was a mobile app-the problem being although it was a phone app it required you to open an internet window every time it was used. If I tried to refer a friend it would freeze my phone and the apps offered to play in order to earn the booty rewards were not that wonderful . Mostly fighting games or there was one with dinosaurs. If the games appeal to you, then the rewards are really easy to earn, but it takes a lot of them to get any money. If the apps don’t appeal, then the app itself is really not worth the use of data space. (Especially since you have to download additional apps and they also take up space)

So, in conclusion-even though I loved the idea behind the Tapbooty app, the way it was set up and the way it ran/apps it offered made it very un-worth it for me.

God bless,

Sarah

 

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Financially Fearless by: Alexa Von Tobel, CFP

Today I received my package from House Party for the Financially Fearless house party! I am super excited to be hosting this party. I am getting ready to read the book and fill out the workbook that comes in the packet so that I can be prepared for the night of.

I know that a party all about money and finances doesn’t sound that fun-but maybe if we made handling money more fun, more of us would do it well! We will be discussing topics such as what money habits our parents have/had, what goals we have for retirement/the years to come, ways we can reach our goals, one bad habit we need to overcome, and a few other topics.

In my package I received two copies of the book-so one will be used as a prize while the other I will keep to use personally. There are workbooks to help create a plan and see what things we can’t live without and things we can-it also walks us through what we need to do to reach our goals and what our target spending should be etc. We will play a spending personality game and maybe Monopoly too (LOL) Those who come will also receive a cute little LearnVest notebook and a $50 credit toward a Custom Action Program where a Certified Financial Planner will work directly with each person to help them with any budget questions, financial advice, a financial plan, and so much more!

I am super excited to be a part of the Financially Fearless Party personally because we need a plan in place to help us achieve our financial goals, or we may never meet them. From what I can tell, not only does Financially Fearless and LearnVest offer the tools needed to achieve financial goals, but it makes it fun and easy to do. If you are interested in learning more or want to participate, comment below or email me at: Sarahspd@gmail.com and I will send you an invitation to come. I will be holding a Facebook event for it as well, so sample packets can be sent to anyone participating out of state and all can still be included in any discussions we have!

To your bright financial future,

Sarah

 

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Turbo

This year we got the movie Turbo for the kids for Christmas. It was super cute and interesting enough to keep us from losing our minds and appropriate so the kids could watch without worrying about hidden jokes or language.

In the movie, a snail with a big dream wishes to be more than a snail working in the garden. He wanders off one night and in a racy and scarey encounter, ends up in a gutter. When he awakes he has special talents, and, he is fast! In a turn of events he ends up at a taco stand where he does snail races and convinces the owner to take him to the Indy 500. I can’t tell you the end-don’t want to spoil it-but it is a story of the “little guy” accomplishing big things. All because of a big dream he would do anything to achieve.

I would give it an 11 on a scale of one to ten if you are looking for a great movie to watch with kids of any age.

God bless!

Sarah

 

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Resolutions-Take 2

Okay, so got an entire post written and managed to lose the whole thing right before posting…So, due to the time, I am going to say the same things, but in the shorter more paraphrased way.  🙂

As the New year is upon us, in 5 days to be exact, I have spent a lot of time thinking of Resolutions and failure. The creating of a resolution gives the feeling of a promise to self (and sometimes others) and when we fail to meet our resolutions before the next year as often can happen, we are left with a feeling of failure and sometimes a large dose of guilt. To keep it short, I will just point out that without goals, we rarely will accomplish anything and when we make them, it is best not to hold ourselves to a standard that we would not hold others.

If you create a resolution, say, to lose 50 pounds in the year, but only lose ten-celebrate the 10! Yahoo-you did a great job! And know, that with each “failure” you are one (or five or more) steps closer to success! It isn’t the failing to accomplish a goal that defines an unfinished goal as failure, but whether we get back up and try again or sit and whine about how hard it is to do. It is not failure to not accomplish something in your own timeline when you understand that sometimes our timelines and goals are not realistic for ourselves.

For example-last year I had a goal to lose 70lbs by 2014-well, unless I lose 60lbs this week-it is not going to happen! I was able to lose ten pounds this year, then neither gain or lose weight since doing so. When first contemplating my goals and what I actually accomplished-I suddenly felt guilty for not doing more! But then it occurred to me that if my best friend had made the same goal and lost the same amount of weight- I would have told her she looked great, had done an amazing job, and to just keep chugging and put it on her list of resolutions again this year. So why do I hold myself to a different standard? Why do I not “pat myself on the back” and say “Well done-keep on going” ? So this year, a resolution I have for myself is to understand we all have limits, and to try and treat myself fairly and hold myself to the same standards I hold my closest friends. I don’t have to be perfect to be perfectly me!

So, for the year of 2014 here are my resolutions. Feel free to hold me accountable, I will post on them every once in a while. And feel free to comment yours below and I will help you if I can or keep you accountable if you want. Here is to a Happy and Blessed 2014!

Sarah’s 2014 Resolutions

1. Lose 60 pounds.

2. Spend more time with the kids, not cleaning up after them. (sometimes caring for them, means going outside and getting dirty with them!)

3. Read through the Bible in a Year. (in 26 years I have yet to accomplish this!)

4. Treat myself more fairly.

5. Study the Biblical definition of Love and live it.

6. Re-establish my Premier Designs business (again!-Yes, I fail a lot on this one!) and help our family be more financially sound.

7. Find new ways to serve others and do so.

Those are my resolutions-feel free to share yours!

God bless,

Sarah

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Christmas Memories

This year as Christmas was upon us, I found myself stressed. I wanted to do so many things-and then I read a blog post saying that it is okay to do less this Christmas season. I would share, but I can’t find it right now for some reason…But, the jist behind the post was that if it made us (parents/moms) want to yell, or actually yell, we shouldn’t do it.

Against my better judgement, we cut back on classes with Els and spent more time reading and just spending time together. The Christmas season came upon us and we were able to just enjoy each other. I found myself irritated or stressed out less, and more serene/in the moment more. (I just wish I could pass those happy feelings on to my DH-of course, men process things differently…) By the time Christmas Eve came around, I was less stressed about doing things and more concerned with making memories.

We made cookies-it was the first time that we not only made Christmas cookies together, but also that I allowed the kids to help in the kitchen. To understand better, it isn’t that I didn’t want them to help before, but I am a bit O.C.D. so when things aren’t just so it gets me. This year, on December 24, 2013, I chose to forget my O.C.D. tendencies  and let my kids enter a new realm. And boy did they love it! We spent all day rolling dough, cutting out stars,ginger bread men, Christmas trees, bells, and snowmen, baking cookies, and frosting them/adding sprinkles.

Not only did I not feel the urge to yell or get annoyed, but the kids got along, behaved all day, and had a blast! The small mess we made was worth all the special time we had together. It was the only thing we did this whole season (other than make special gifts for our family (I can’t say what yet-not everyone has gotten theirs yet! LOL) and everyone in the house had a great time and loved every minute.

Els has asked each day if it is “next year yet” so we can bake all day again-of course I say no, but I also mention we can bake cookies any time. (except right now-we have soooo many left still!)

By now, you may be wondering what I’m getting at. I didn’t write this to brag on my mothering skills, I fail so many times and am still learning each day. My observation is, doing less really can be more. We spent this holiday season cuddling, watching movies, and then making cookies together-but it was so calm and relaxing, and we all enjoyed the time together. It was a great time, and the joy on the kids’ faces was so wonderful to see.

Moms (and Dads) out there-it can be so easy to get caught up in doing things, all year round, and sometimes, picking one or two things is all we really need. It isn’t about how much we can accomplish or how many activities we can squeeze into a week, month, or year. It’s about making memories with our children, making them feel special, and knowing that things don’t always go as planned. Sometimes, we have to do less in order to do more.

I never thought I would be writing about this-but I am so happy that I learned this lesson this year. It is in my nature to be efficient, doing more and getting more done, and stress about little things like toys on the floor or dishes in the sink. My hope is to learn to be less O.C.D. and more in the moment with the kids this year, to enjoy them while they are still little, and make beautiful memories with the kids that stay with them forever. ❤

God bless,

Sarah

 

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Link

Smiley360

Before I get off to bed, I just wanted to share this link really quick. It’s called Smiley360 and it ranks high in the Free product testing sites. I just joined, but they make sure they get to know you in order to know what products to have you try and it has to do missions in order to earn what they call Smiley boxes. Right now I’m working toward a digital welcome kit-but they also send samples in the mail. It seems like a pretty awesome program-and the best part? It’s FREE! They never charge you for anything, but they do want you to give product reviews once you use something. Maybe later this week I will list the Top 9 FREE product testing sites for you and give you a review on each one. Until then, Good night and God bless!

Sarah

 

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Mama Needs her Rest

I got lucky with Els-she was my easy child. (WAS, as in the past! lol) She slept through the night at two weeks, obeyed the first time, and has always been a good listener. E.W. and I-man on the other hand, still don’t sleep through the night, give me a sly grin when told to do something, and often pretend they can’t hear me.

Now, with all three having a rough time in the listening department, I’m struggling to keep it together. Not that I’m losing it or anything-I’m just at a loss. Seems like someone came in during the night and stole my angels away and replaced them with their not so wonderful counterparts. I do my best to give them the guidance they need-but I find myself yelling more than I’d like to admit. 😦

Today wasn’t so bad-the kids actually behaved pretty well; but after three days of “fighting” with them to behave and three sleepless nights, it was still hard to get through. I think this mama just needs her rest.

As I write this I see the time is nearing 1am-and I am no closer to bed than I was at 9pm. The boys are awake and though they are being good-I find myself agitated from being so tired. I know it’s just my flesh speaking-but sometimes, all should admit, it’s hard to resist succumbing to it. You see, I haven’t gotten to bed before 2am in over two weeks. Each night I get the kids to bed, they fall asleep rather quickly, and I wind down for bed. My husband gets up for work (or just gets ready) and I-man makes his first appearance. On a lucky night he goes right back to sleep after a few snuggles and a snack. But on most nights, he plays until he can barely keep his eyes open. (say, like, 12!)

I finally get him off to sleep and who should  appear? But my sweet, loving EW looking for an evening snuggle. Again, on a good night, he’ll snuggle and go back to bed. But on most nights, he stays up til one when I finally convince him to lay in my bed. At which time he wakes up the sleeping I-man who is up again until two-two thirty….

You’d think I’d get used to it, but six or seven comes mighty early in the morning! Then, when I think I may be getting some sleep finally, my beautiful daughter Els gets up and joins me too. That’s three of us, in my dinky full sized bed. It’s not so small when it’s just me, but throw in a couple of bed hogs, and it’s practically a toddler bed.

Don’t confuse this as me saying I don’t like their snuggles-in fact-I love them. But I do like my sleep. And as I look over at my precious EW sleeping on the couch (he crashed there tonight!) and I-man playing next to me, I see he’s getting tired. So I must cut this commentary short and put him to bed in hopes he will sleep soon.

Because, without a doubt, this Mama needs her rest!

God bless!

Sarah

 

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