Respect

I feel so disrespected right now. Someone had suggested helping us get a house a few times over the last year or so.  Recently they brought it up again and I considered the idea – minus the part where right now we are working toward paying our debts and raising our credit scores.  Financially, buying a house,  or moving really aren’t wise choices right now.

Thanks to Learn Vest, I was able to speak to a financial planner who seconded to at least wait, work on getting caught up,  debt down, and a savings for moving and emergency fund set up and growing.

Giving all those reasons to the ones offering the help I felt, and still feel, confident that it was the best decision we could make at this time about our budget and finances. And my dear husband (dh) agrees.

Well, turns out it wasn’t going to be dropped so easily. The said person later sent a pic and description of the same house that was sent to me to my DH and decided to call about it. Never in my life have I felt so disrespected. A marriage is supposed to be a united front – one I feel my DH and I have created in our relationship.  So maybe I’m over reacting, but I feel as though my marriage is being attacked, my authority over our and my finances is being given no merit, and our actual financial state is being given no consideration.

I couldn’t even buy gifts for Christmas this year. Many wonderful people thought of us and helped make this year so wonderful and I appreciate their acts if kindness. The smiles on my kids faces were something I’ll never forget. What though, would make anyone think after having to consider not having a Christmas in our home that buying a house is wise?

My point here, is why would we add to our debt instead of forming a strong financial future for our kids? What good reason is there to risk a roof over our heads because someone thinks we need more space. (And maybe we do – but space doesn’t pay the bills) When is it really a good choice to add to upwards of $39,000 in debt (includes cars and student loans etc) when we could be working on getting it paid off, a savings set up, and our credit scores up? I just can’t fathom.

I feel so disrespected as a person, mom, wife by these people.  My husband has been so great about it – a voice of reason so to speak since I really just want to say what they can do with their fiscally irresponsible suggestions that are comparable to all of Obama’s stupid mistakes.

I am so glad we were/are on the same page, the United front I mentioned above. We would love to own a house, but not at the expense of our children, whom will be left with our poor decisions if we don’t make the right choices now.

I appreciate the thought and offer to help. Not so much the disrespect and trying to divide the front we have and go behind us working at our resolve to do the right thing.

I’d love to get some feed back. Has this ever happened to you? If so – how did you handle it and what did you (or didn’t you) say? Leave a comment below – tell me your thoughts.

God bless,
Sarah

 

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