The “H” Word

Now, I’m sure the title of this probably had your mind filled with all sorts of ideas. But this post is about the “H” word-HATE. My kids have heard (unfortunately) a multitude of words from me, but this is one word they have not (to my knowledge) and I hope will never hear come out of my mouth. I’m not saying I have never used it, or that there aren’t things out there that I truly do, in fact, hate. What I am saying is, I never want my kids to feel the weight of that word, either on the receiving, or giving, side and I definitely never want to be on the other end of that phrase.

I often hear parents talking about how their kids say it to them All the time-how could one deal with that? I understand a child not liking what a parent has to say or a punishment given and being unhappy with a parent for a short time-but where did this horrible “H” word come from? How can any parent allow that to stay in their child’s vocabulary, then tell others about it?

Other conversations, it’s only once in a while-the slip of the tongue per say, but still, it seers to the core. I want to revolutionize the way kids and parents interact in conflict. No more, “I hate you Mommy, you’re mean.”

What if, for once, WE as the parents stopped the “H” word in it’s tracks? What if we chose to refrain from using it? It’s not as easy as it sounds, but it would save so many parents from having to hear, “I Hate you” in any conversation.

I am proud to say, that even at my worst moments, and during my kids’ as well, we have never heard that from our children. I don’t know that they even know the word. And I don’t want them to!

Now, I’m sure you’re thinking, “but your kids are all under five-of course they don’t say it yet.” But over the years, I have seen three year olds, even a couple two year olds, say that to their parents. What makes them think it’s okay? Why is it parents seem so confused by their kids saying it in the first place? What situations have they put their kids in to learn that phrase? Those three, horrible words?

There is a different way, and there is hope. Kids don’t just say things randomly. Vocabulary is a very learned skill. If it weren’t, everyone would come out talking the same way-but we don’t! It’s okay to give your outlook an overhaul. I probably do it in one way or another every day…

 

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