Love and Handicapping

Disclosure: I got this product as part of an advertorial.

 

Bet Today, Love Tomorrow

 

 

Okay, so I can hear you now, what are you doing reading a book about dating? For heaven’s sake, you’re married!  I know, I know-that is absolutely true.  But I have to tell you-I wish I had been given this book to me back when I was dating. And trust me, that wasn’t that long ago.

Actually, as a teenager, I didn’t really date that much at all. I had a few boyfriends, a lot of crushes, and no success in the dating world. It’s funny, really, because even though this book is written from a certain perspective, it can still be applied to marriage, family, and even friend relationships. One of the first points in the book is “If you do not love yourself unconditionally, how can you expect anyone to else to love you?”  It’s not saying if you don’t love yourself, no one will love you, but it does mean that love will never know it’s full potential because you don’t know or appreciate your own full potential. (shortcomings and all!)

This book is heavily sprinkled with great tips to make any relationship work and how to look for the kind of relationship you want. (and figuring out what exactly it is that you want in a relationship.)  But this is not your typical dating book. It’s fun and witty, full of thoughtful ideas and best of all, it’s realistic!

It touches on everything from personality types, taking care of yourself, realizing your expectations, family and society, and so much more. It was very obvious in reading this book that a lot of thought was put into relationships and how to find the right partner, and be the right partner.  It offers simple red flags to look for when dating someone from punctuality to constant criticism. It even discusses the different types of relationships (dating) and what you can most likely expect from them.

Love and Handicapping is a fun, inventive way to face the dating world and even if you are already in a relationship or married, it is a great book to go back to-because people do change and it is easy to slip into some of the bad habits and poor relationship issues written about by Jennifer.

As I said before, I wish this book had been written when I was dating. It would have saved me a few heart breaks, bad boyfriends, and would have even pointed out the areas that I needed (and some I still do-admittedly) to work on to make myself the right partner for husband today. It was easy to read and quotes and stories that make it both entertaining and informative. I even learned a few things and realized a few areas I could use help in and need to change. It, like relationships, can not be judged by it’s cover or title, it is well thought out, well written, and on point. It may not always apply in every situation or relationship, but it still a great guideline to go by.

I highly recommend picking up your own copy of Love & Handicapping if you are in a relationship, looking for one, or even married. It will revolutionize the way you look at dating, love, and marriage. It will help you along the way, it will counsel you in ways to better yourself and look for your ideal partner. It may even show you that what you are looking for is not quite right or could alter just a little. Love, just like sports, is full of winners and losers. Learn how to be a winning contender in the “game” of love and you may just find yourself in a winning relationship while you are at it!

 

Book Description:

~~Is your game on?
No denying dating is a game filled with winners and losers. How you finish equates to your own performance.
Dating sites may provide introductions and first time statistics of a possible winning match. Advice advocates give suggestions on previous successes, but still these offer no guarantee and sometimes create more hardship.
Like a sports handicapper you are equipped to assess your own winners; all you need is the tools to do so. Inspired by sports handicapping tips you too can learn how to not only find a winning relationship but become a winning contender.

 

About the Author:

Inspiration comes from watching way too much Monty Python. The abstract and the absurd way of looking at normal life, not only offers humor, but questions many problems in society in a light-hearted manner. If we can laugh at ourselves, if we can laugh at life, problems do not seem quite so difficult to tackle. In fact, problems are not as complicated as they seem; everything is very simple. If you can laugh at it, write about it and read about it, most likely one would think about it.

Author Jennifer Ott has written several satire fiction, Wild Horses, The Tourist and two non-fiction books Love and Handicapping and Ooh Baby Compound Me! Her latest book about the homecoming of a Vietnam Veteran, Edge of Civilization will be released soon.

Jennifer Ott lives in Long Beach, California, enjoys the sun, the sand, the surf and lots of Mexican food.

 

Where to Buy:

http://www.amazon.com/Love-Handicapping-Jennifer-Ott-ebook/dp/B00BRYXTAG
http://www.amazon.com/Love-Handicapping-Jennifer-Ott/dp/0557547733
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/387307
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18524542-love-handicapping

Win the Love & Handicapping Gift Set-Enter Here:

(In the set: Love and Handicapping by Jennifer Ott, Love & Handicapping Notebook,  and Love & Handicapping coffee mug)

http://www.giveawaytab.com/mob.php?pageid=234870416699843

Mobile Users Enter Here: http://www.giveawaytab.com/giveaway2/mobile.php?pageid=234870416699843

 

 

I received one or more of the products mentioned above for free using Tomoson.com. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers.

Living with a Child with Disabilities

 

People wonder why I’ve become so disconnected. Or why I seem stressed out. How I “don’t work” yet seem to always be with excuse to stay in. They even wonder why I have avoided specific groups of people.

Well, here it is. I home school, cook, clean, train our puppy, take my kids to appointments and activities, I also have a blog I post to regularly, and a freebie page I offer, because to me-much has been given to me, so I should share that with others. It is my way of giving back even though right now I don’t get much personal contact outside my home or go out much.

Then, when no one is watching, I handle break downs, screaming fits, sensory issues, work with speech delays, explain to my children why even though a toy hasn’t been played with in hours it can’t be moved, potty train a child who after a year still doesn’t get it, try to decipher what is wanted with a few grunts or whines, and that is all with just one child. We aren’t even covering the fact I have two other children who don’t necessarily require, but would like the same amount of personal time put in with them.

It isn’t easy to go out with a child who doesn’t understand crowds, or can’t interact with his peers the way they interact with each other. It isn’t cut and dry taking a child out in public who does well often, and melts down just as much-if not while out, then when we get home. It isn’t a piece of cake to try and join a group and have them judge you because your child has what they call “behavior issues” when really it’s a disconnect in understanding right from wrong-or even sensory at times- and I’m doing the best I can.

There are those I don’t wish to be disconnected to-and I try not to be-but we all have lives and some have more obstacles than others. I work hard on a daily basis to reach out to people, whether they respond or not. Face it-it didn’t take long to become “disconnected” when I am home all day, almost every day, and when I needed my so-called friends most they scorned me-and more importantly-they scorned MY SON.

On to avoiding specific groups-I have learned you are who you hang out with, whether you intend to be that way or not, eventually you will reflect who you are with most often. When I see people who once claimed to be friends hanging out with people who have no problem talking trash about their family, let alone their friends, when they weren’t around-it bothers me. I don’t want to associate with that. When it is okay for one friend to scorn another and those that hang out with them don’t stand up for the one they are judging-I have a problem with that. Especially when they knew what was going on all along.

Lets not even touch the fact I was willing to overlook a multitude of past wrong doings that to me were the past and didn’t matter, but they couldn’t even take pity on a boy with learning disabilities and insulted me as a parent while attacking my child. Yes, he has issues-deal with it. He’s getting the help he needs and while I’m dealing with his ups and downs and getting him help-I am doing it alone because he was an inconvenience to people I once believed were my friends. It is not only easier, but better for me to focus on my son more than what my so-called friends are say about me when they think I won’t find out.  He is more important than any “petty” friendship.

 

I don’t want to discredit the friends I do have-I have some amazing friends, and even though we can’t talk all the time, and some have no idea what I am truly going through, I know they love me and vise versa. It isn’t all bad. And I would urge those who assume I’ve become “anti-social” to consider that I am not in fact anti-social, but have decided to find friends who will love me and my children through thick and thin opposed to those who see me struggle and assume I’m a bad parent because of it.

They say in hard times you find out who your real friends are. I have to say I was pretty surprised about who a few of them were, but also found they were the ones I should have relied on in the first place and I am proud to call them “friend.” I don’t need to be a social bee or little-miss-popularity to be rich. And I am truly rich. To the true friends out there-I love you and thank you for all you do for us. The texts, occasional visits, the understanding and occasional nights out. You are the best friends a girl could ask for!

The whole point of this is, it isn’t easy to live with a child who has disabilities. It is even harder to handle people talking trash about you as a parent, or worse, your child. It is also something I wouldn’t trade for the world. I love my son to no end-he is the apple of my eye. But don’t jump to conclusions when a parent has a child with disabilities that they are going out of their way to be “anti-social”  or rude. Don’t assume we prefer staying in or staying within our families opposed to meeting new people or doing new things.  Don’t blame our parenting for the issues our child faces-we didn’t give him this handicap-he was born with it.

Instead-send that text message or email you’ve thought about sending, it will brighten our day. Call and see how we’re doing-and don’t get offended if we choose not to answer or text in reply instead. Chances are our child is screaming or will if we get on the phone.  Ask to come over, or just drop by and visit. Ask us about our child, try to understand what is going on so when you see our child “act out” or express himself in the one way he knows how, you’ll get it and it won’t be so “annoying” anymore-because you took the time to understand.  Send that note you’ve been meaning to write. Make us a meal once in a while-not because we need you to, but because it reminds us that we aren’t in this alone.

There are a million ways you can show support to a family with a child who has a disability. It doesn’t even matter what the disability is-they all come with their difficulties. But remember-we love our child, we do what we feel is best to help our child and also keep him safe and free of stress, sometimes to our own demise. But we would not, will not, trade it for anything in in the world because,  this child, is our heart and soul.  Yes, having a child with a disability changes a family’s life-but I would like to believe for the better. We will come out stronger, happier, and knowing who our true friends are. No guessing involved. We are the rich ones.

 

Over My Head

I am so over my head here. Whole house over haul, medical appointments for E.W., home schooling Els, catching up our budget, and running a home business. Recently, only one or two of these things are happening at a time and the rest are being ignored. I really need to get on top of it all-but where to start?

Recently I have gone on a mission to find out how we can fix our budget. On this search I found that there are also resources out there to budget our time. I have yet to choose a program to use, but I think that in order to do all the things I want to do and enjoy my family, it is really important to learn how to budget my time. That includes work, play, housework, school, and hobbies. Right now, I barely have time to do anything-and it has nothing to do with time itself, but the use of said time. Something has to give, something has to change. Everyone is losing in this situation.

Despite my efforts, the house is a train wreck, my kids feel ignored (and that hurts the most!), my business is suffering, things are being forgotten, goals are not being met… I know I can’t be the only person dealing with this-but it definitely feels that way. My inability to focus on any one things is affecting every area of life-including socially. I’m irritable, to myself, and can’t hold a normal conversation that holds any weight. I’m planning a trip to my doctor-we need to figure something out.

I hope and pray combining a new budget on my time, and some answers on why I can’t seem to handle more than one goal in a day, that things will go from off kilter to balanced. Not only do I deserve some balance in life, but my family and friends do too. I feel so overwhelmed, so over my head.

This is my rant. It is now over and tomorrow, I am voting for a better more organized year. This is the year “Sinking” turns to  “Swimming” and great things get done! Feel free to follow my journey-and comment or tell me about your journey!

God Bless,

Sarah

 

<script>
(function(i,s,o,g,r,a,m){i[‘GoogleAnalyticsObject’]=r;i[r]=i[r]||function(){
(i[r].q=i[r].q||[]).push(arguments)},i[r].l=1*new Date();a=s.createElement(o),
m=s.getElementsByTagName(o)[0];a.async=1;a.src=g;m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m)
})(window,document,’script’,’//www.google-analytics.com/analytics.js’,’ga’);

ga(‘create’, ‘UA-48161439-1’, ‘wordpress.com’);
ga(‘send’, ‘pageview’);

</script>